Bert and Joe need your help! They've been investigating the old shack on Catfish Island. They finally found the skeleton key and got the door open! The shack is full of old radio equipment that was probably used by Blackbeard and his men! Bert and Joe found a note on the radio table, but can't make heads or tales of it! Can you decipher the note before the pirates return!?
Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. This week there are also some numbers. The numbers have not been swapped with other numbers; "1962" should be part of your final solution.
Today's hint: X equals K.
"ZMHE/ FGMFWG/ ERAQX/ ZT/ SOGJXMNE/ OMWG/ UJH/ ZADRJGW/ AQ/ 'ERG/ IMYCJERGO'/ JQY/ CMOIGE/ ERJE/ A/ JWHM/ PMADGY/ ERG/ EJWXAQI/ DJQYT/ SJO/ AQ/ 1962'H/ 'EM/ XAWW/ J/ ZMDXAQISAOY'"/
- JW/ FJDAQM
The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer.
Last week's answer:
"I find the best way to induce a bladder infection is to pump infected urine directly into the bladder. It's a questionable thing." - Martha Stewart
Showing posts with label Ghosts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ghosts. Show all posts
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Daryl Hannah Begs to Differ
I recently happened upon a movie I had totally forgotten.
Once I saw it, I clearly remembered the cover to this video tape. But somehow, I had entirely forgotten that Ghosts Can't Do It is a real movie. It's from 1989 and stars Bo Derek and Anthony Quinn, and was directed by Bo's husband John Derek. It's totally about ghosts not being able to do it.
I'm so embarrassed that I didn't remember this movie. It even has Bo Derek in a wet t-shirt on the cover; I would think that seeing that box(the video tape, not Bo Derek. God, you're crass) at 13 years old would have cemented GCDI into my mental catalog of movies. Maybe being 13 is why I recalled the box picture but not the title. Man, I could not only have been making jokes about GCDI for the last 20 years, I could've also been informing people that a movie called Ghosts Can't Do It does in fact exist. Obviously I'm going to start now.
Also it's horrible.
From The New York Times: "The final cinematic abomination from the late John Derek and his legendary non-actress wife Bo Derek turns out to be their worst collaboration ever, beating out even Bolero for sheer incomprehensible awfulness and ranking as one of the silliest monstrosities ever committed to film."
And from TV Guide.com: "Pull on your hip boots and restrain the horses: it's the worst-ever movie from John and Bo Derek, which makes it one of the low points of what passes for civilization in the 20th century."
In other words, I will be watching this movie soon.
From the Wikipedia and IMDb synopses I believed this film to be a drama, but this(which really looks like it's the actual trailer) makes it seem otherwise.
Evidently it's a comedy about drowning a younger man in order to possess his corpse and screw your trophy wife once more. And just how did Anthony Quinn's character die? He had a heart attack, which left his heart too weak to keep pounding Bo Derek night and day, so he ate a shotgun! Sounds hilarious!
I think it's easy to be deceived by the articles. IMDb tags it with Romance, Fantasy, And yes, Comedy. However, many dramas with lighthearted moments get tagged with "Comedy". And that box cover does not say supernatural romp. It says... something. Not sure what, but it's got a couple serious pics of Bo, one with a wet t-shirt, and it clearly is about doing it.
OK, this one literally says comedy, but the
Thankfully this wasn't the last film for two-time Oscar winner Quinn. This was not his Street Fighter or Transformers: The Movie. No, he went on to appear in films like The Old Man and The Sea, Jungle Fever, The Last Action Hero, and lots of Hercules crap. His distinguished career finally came to an end with the blockbuster Stallone picture Avenging Angelo. Remember that one? Me neither.
This was also Julie Newmar(the first TV Catwoman)'s last role before she was annihilated by a fully operational baler on the set of a Green Acres reunion. No one could explain her presence there, since she had never been on Green Acres and hated Eddie Albert.
But anyway, this isn't about Anthony Quinn, Bo Derek, or even Julie Newmar. This is about the fact that there is a movie called Ghosts Can't Do It and that's freaking hilarious. Also scientifically inaccurate.
Once I saw it, I clearly remembered the cover to this video tape. But somehow, I had entirely forgotten that Ghosts Can't Do It is a real movie. It's from 1989 and stars Bo Derek and Anthony Quinn, and was directed by Bo's husband John Derek. It's totally about ghosts not being able to do it.
I'm so embarrassed that I didn't remember this movie. It even has Bo Derek in a wet t-shirt on the cover; I would think that seeing that box(the video tape, not Bo Derek. God, you're crass) at 13 years old would have cemented GCDI into my mental catalog of movies. Maybe being 13 is why I recalled the box picture but not the title. Man, I could not only have been making jokes about GCDI for the last 20 years, I could've also been informing people that a movie called Ghosts Can't Do It does in fact exist. Obviously I'm going to start now.
Also it's horrible.
From The New York Times: "The final cinematic abomination from the late John Derek and his legendary non-actress wife Bo Derek turns out to be their worst collaboration ever, beating out even Bolero for sheer incomprehensible awfulness and ranking as one of the silliest monstrosities ever committed to film."
And from TV Guide.com: "Pull on your hip boots and restrain the horses: it's the worst-ever movie from John and Bo Derek, which makes it one of the low points of what passes for civilization in the 20th century."
In other words, I will be watching this movie soon.
From the Wikipedia and IMDb synopses I believed this film to be a drama, but this(which really looks like it's the actual trailer) makes it seem otherwise.
Evidently it's a comedy about drowning a younger man in order to possess his corpse and screw your trophy wife once more. And just how did Anthony Quinn's character die? He had a heart attack, which left his heart too weak to keep pounding Bo Derek night and day, so he ate a shotgun! Sounds hilarious!
I think it's easy to be deceived by the articles. IMDb tags it with Romance, Fantasy, And yes, Comedy. However, many dramas with lighthearted moments get tagged with "Comedy". And that box cover does not say supernatural romp. It says... something. Not sure what, but it's got a couple serious pics of Bo, one with a wet t-shirt, and it clearly is about doing it.
OK, this one literally says comedy, but the picture is dead serious about her wet boobs.
Thankfully this wasn't the last film for two-time Oscar winner Quinn. This was not his Street Fighter or Transformers: The Movie. No, he went on to appear in films like The Old Man and The Sea, Jungle Fever, The Last Action Hero, and lots of Hercules crap. His distinguished career finally came to an end with the blockbuster Stallone picture Avenging Angelo. Remember that one? Me neither.
This was also Julie Newmar(the first TV Catwoman)'s last role before she was annihilated by a fully operational baler on the set of a Green Acres reunion. No one could explain her presence there, since she had never been on Green Acres and hated Eddie Albert.
But anyway, this isn't about Anthony Quinn, Bo Derek, or even Julie Newmar. This is about the fact that there is a movie called Ghosts Can't Do It and that's freaking hilarious. Also scientifically inaccurate.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Sunday Cipher #10 - The Forgetful Ghost
Can you solve the puzzle before the forgetful ghost opens the cabinet of horrors? Oh, wait, that was supposed to be a couple days ago? Oh, I guess it must've slipped his mind. Well, he's here now, so... do you still want to do this? If not, that's cool.
Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: I equals L.
"F /UEN'M/ UPSBB/ WL/ DEP/ QRIIEXSSN./ F/ RIPSRUT/ XSRP/ MQFB/ ARBV/ RII/ MQS/ MFAS/ BE/ RASPFOR/ UESBN'M/ BSS/ MQS/ DROS/ ED/ BRMRN/ BMRPFNG/ EWM/ ED/ MQSFP/ MSISZFBFENB/ SZSPT/ NFGQM."
- XRIMSP OPENVFMS
The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer.
Last week's answer:
"I drew Peanuts because Charlie Brown is the only kid I could imagine with a worse life than my own. The fact that he didn't hang himself every day, when by all rights he should have, kept me going." - Charles Schulz
Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: I equals L.
"F /UEN'M/ UPSBB/ WL/ DEP/ QRIIEXSSN./ F/ RIPSRUT/ XSRP/ MQFB/ ARBV/ RII/ MQS/ MFAS/ BE/ RASPFOR/ UESBN'M/ BSS/ MQS/ DROS/ ED/ BRMRN/ BMRPFNG/ EWM/ ED/ MQSFP/ MSISZFBFENB/ SZSPT/ NFGQM."
- XRIMSP OPENVFMS
The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer.
Last week's answer:
"I drew Peanuts because Charlie Brown is the only kid I could imagine with a worse life than my own. The fact that he didn't hang himself every day, when by all rights he should have, kept me going." - Charles Schulz
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Skating on Thin Ice
Is it racist if I think twice before buying a pair of ice-skates that were recommended to me by a black man?
If the guy was a French Canadian white guy or some Eastern European I would totally trust his opinion on skates. Also, come to think of it, if it was a French Canadian black guy I would also believe whatever he told me about ice skates. French Canadian trumps any racial make-up when it comes to hockey and ice skating. Honestly, I assume that all Canadian men and most of the women are bad-ass skaters and have probably played on a hockey team.
This didn't come up because I was shopping for ice skates or anything. It arose because I had dry cleaning done, and I realized I would be wary of entrusting my dry cleaning to most races. I just assume when I go into a dry cleaner's that the person behind the counter is going to be white or Asian. Furthermore, I assume all the Asians in dry cleaners' are Chinese. I think we all do. I also assume that even if there's a pretty big language barrier, my laundry will be spotlessly clean and well pressed, because, y'know, Chinese know shit about laundry. It's in their silk robes or something.
Even this clip art I found is racist
But give me a black dude or a Latina behind the counter, and I might hesitate to hand over my linen to them. And that's odd, because it's more because of my positive stereotyping of the Chinese and their laundry skills than it is that I don't trust other minorities. I would much rather hand over my silk dressing gown to a normal looking Spaniard than some skeezy white dude. Being OK with giving my dry cleaning to a white person at all probably stems from having only lived in Sacramento and Denver. If I had grown up in Los Angeles or Washington D.C. I would probably only trust my laundry to the Chinese. But, damn man, white people have always been coming out of the woodwork wherever I've lived, so you kind of just have to assume that if they look fairly clean they can probably do their job.
She puts stains in clothes.
However, she doesn't work at a cleaner's.
I wonder what would happen if a Chinese person took in their dry cleaning and a Laotian or Thai was at the counter. I think it would blow his mind. Then he'd just leave and wash his own clothes, figuring he has to able to do a better job. And if they came out wrinkled or still stained he'd utter some Cantonese racial epithet for Thais that doesn't really translate into English. It'd roughly translate to "An unskilled yak that has stolen from my forefathers and longs to poison my land" or "The bedfellow of ghosts and demons that sprang from its own mother's behind" And it would only apply to that very specific ethnic group. Like people from southwest of Phnom Penh. Because, man, foreigners are raaaciiiiist! Seriously. I've worked with enough Mexicans to have heard some slang. They have all sorts of specific terms for people from other places. It's like "Oh, yeah we call guys from Chihuahua that because they're all thieves." or "That's what you call somebody from Sonora since they're all dirty." Man, foreigners are as bad as those inbred racists from Alabama.
So, should I buy the skates?
If the guy was a French Canadian white guy or some Eastern European I would totally trust his opinion on skates. Also, come to think of it, if it was a French Canadian black guy I would also believe whatever he told me about ice skates. French Canadian trumps any racial make-up when it comes to hockey and ice skating. Honestly, I assume that all Canadian men and most of the women are bad-ass skaters and have probably played on a hockey team.
This didn't come up because I was shopping for ice skates or anything. It arose because I had dry cleaning done, and I realized I would be wary of entrusting my dry cleaning to most races. I just assume when I go into a dry cleaner's that the person behind the counter is going to be white or Asian. Furthermore, I assume all the Asians in dry cleaners' are Chinese. I think we all do. I also assume that even if there's a pretty big language barrier, my laundry will be spotlessly clean and well pressed, because, y'know, Chinese know shit about laundry. It's in their silk robes or something.
Even this clip art I found is racist
She puts stains in clothes.However, she doesn't work at a cleaner's.
I wonder what would happen if a Chinese person took in their dry cleaning and a Laotian or Thai was at the counter. I think it would blow his mind. Then he'd just leave and wash his own clothes, figuring he has to able to do a better job. And if they came out wrinkled or still stained he'd utter some Cantonese racial epithet for Thais that doesn't really translate into English. It'd roughly translate to "An unskilled yak that has stolen from my forefathers and longs to poison my land" or "The bedfellow of ghosts and demons that sprang from its own mother's behind" And it would only apply to that very specific ethnic group. Like people from southwest of Phnom Penh. Because, man, foreigners are raaaciiiiist! Seriously. I've worked with enough Mexicans to have heard some slang. They have all sorts of specific terms for people from other places. It's like "Oh, yeah we call guys from Chihuahua that because they're all thieves." or "That's what you call somebody from Sonora since they're all dirty." Man, foreigners are as bad as those inbred racists from Alabama.
So, should I buy the skates?
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