Sunday Cipher #25 - The Prison Chow Line

Well, you did it. You sure made your Grandmother proud. You work in a prison cafeteria without being an inmate. And you have three bosses, all of whom have more respect, authority and responsibility than you. The least serious offense between your three inmate bosses is Kidnapping with Intent to Part-Out. Now the warden wants to have a word with you. He has decided that if you can't solve his puzzle, your free shift meals at the prison will consist of maple syrup, coffee grounds, and sweepings from the prison barber shop. Can you solve the puzzle? Why would you even bother? Why don't you just quit?

Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: P equals R.

"RE'S/ BWW/ EUIE/ IDPIUIG/ HBE/ SUBE/ IE/ EUT/ EUTIETP./ UT/ XIS/ IJXIKS/ EBB/ DQSK/ EB/ STT/ I/ SUBX./ RE/ XIS/ QSQIJJK/ GT/ RZ/ EUIE/ WIPA/ DBY/ XREU/ I/ GIZ'S/ HQZ/ SUBNTW/ RZ/ EUT/ DIOA/ BL/ GK/ UTIW,/ RL/ KBQ/ AZBX/ XUIE/ R/ GTIZ."/
- GIPK/ EBWW/ JRZOBJZ

The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer.

Last week's answer:
"You want a reason to drink? Try being able to talk to the animals when you're a nine year old intern at a slaughterhouse."
- John Dolittle

Sunday Cipher #18 - Open Mic Night at the Abottoir

Johnson's Olde Fashioned Manual Slaughterhouse is holding its first annual open mic night! Bessie the Cow just put the final touches on her stand-up comedy act! Her main competition is that heifer Rebecca and her prop comedy. Luckily for Bessie everyone hates prop comics. With a good set, Bessie just might earn the top prize! Unfortunately it's not her freedom; all the cows will still be slaughtered. But with a win she'll probably first have time to enjoy the three jugs of Tropicana Pure Premium Lots of Pulp Orange Juice that cows adore! Solve the puzzle below and somehow help Bessie win that OJ!

Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: X equals L. Also Y equals P.

"KWA/ MWSN'H/ OSM/ PH/ QCW/ BPNHQ/ ZCSKZW/ QCSQ/ MUG/ CSTW/ WSZC/ MWSN/ QU/ XPW/ QU/ MUGNHWXB/ SJUGQ/ SXX/ QCW/ QCPKLH/ MUG/ SNW/ LUPKL/ QU/ ZCSKLW;/ MUG/ VSM/ SH/ AWXX/ XPW/ JPL."
- OWWYSE/ ZCUYNS

The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer.

Last week's answer:
"I merely muttered that the stall door had a "sucky lock" and the undercover copper misheard me." - George Michael